Before I begin this story, I would like to give some background info. This story would revolve around the main character Xiaowan, a middle-aged woman who strive for a better life. She stayed in a kampong at Bt.Tahi (Shit Mountain). She was also trying to take a master degree course in Maleisia Sampan University. This story is purely fictional, any resemblance of character or event is purely a coincidence. ***The brackets in the dialouges represent wad the person is thinking.***

One day, Xiaowan chanced upon a brochure for Maleisia Sampan University (MSU). It was a chance she had been waiting for. Hence she went home to call the university to register for the interview. The next day, Xiaowan went for the interview early in the morning as she was afraid that being late would give them a bad impression. She also dressed up in her 'best suit' to impress the lecturers. *Her dress code for that day was : A black hairband, a pair of big bulky retro red earrings, a white with black polka dots blouse with lacy ends, a pair of jeans and a pair of yellow boots that fishmongers usually wears.*

When it was her turn to go into the interview room, she scratched her ass a few times before going in. As she turned the doorknob and go in, some air were collecting at her rectum ready to go off. "Take a seat Ms Koh YunWan! (wad a country bumkin)" The lecturer offered. "Huh?! Orh! Wan me sit har? Ok lor!" Xiaowan said in an uncouth, high-pitched voice. Just as her butt touched the chair, the gas that were collected in her rectum broke free (YA SHE F4RT3D). "Ehem!" The lecturer coughed, signalling to Xiaowan to apologise. "Wah! U teach until cough sia! So piang! I must also learn from u," Xiaowan replied.

"Let's start the interview. 1st question, why do u wanna join our university?"
"Orh! Becos..becos... I want to study lar! I young young that time very poor. Bo lui study."
"2nd question, wad do u think u can contribute to the university?"
"Contribute har?! Easy la! I can bring some of the veggie that i planted n give to the canteen lor"
"3rd question, wad qualification do u have?"
"Aiyo! Limbei tell u limbei bo lui to study liao! Where got wad qua...li..fiii...cation"
"Thank you for the interview. We will contact u soon"

"Ok! Byebye Jegu!" Xiaowan bidded farewell and she broke wind again before leaving the room. After she left, the lecturers who were interviewing her shook their heads in disappointment. Two days later, Xiaowan was informed by the university that she was accepted into the university. *she was the only few interviewee as the university was in a remote kampong* After receiving the good news, she jumped for joy and sang HuoYuanJia again and again.

The term begins...

Xiaowan and the others were waiting in the lecture room for the lecture to begin. "Aiyo! Jegu take so long wan! He LaoSai isit?" one of Xiaowan's classmate, Yun, said. "How dare u say such things about the teacher! I will COMPLAINT!" another of the classmate, AhBee, said. Just then, the lecturer, Pr.Pontyanna, came in. "Class stand!" AhBee took the iniative to shout it out. "Today we will learn about how to identify and chop the best wood to make sampan...." The lesson continued for a few hours until the bell rang. "Ok class! Got anymore questions?" Pr.Pontyanna asked. "Yaya! Jegu Meme! I wan ask u arh the sampan u taught us can hold the weight of Yun onot? He very fat one leh?" Xiaowan asked. "Erm... Good question! I will answer it another day. Class dismissed!" Pr.Pontyanna replied.

After the class ended, they had a meeting to discuss was they had learnt. They gathered and were quite close to each other. Meow accidentally touched Yun on the hand and Yun shouted, "OI! **** you lar! Touch me for wad! I curse ur family!" "Wad la! I onli accidentally touch u only wad! Reaction so big for wad?" Meow roared back as he walked outta the classroom. Soon, the meeting was over and Xiaowan walked back home.



To be continued......

***(if u think it is not funny jus tell me. I will try to improve)***